


The Great Shinobi Roadtrip

by delax, Flangst



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Comedy, Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delax/pseuds/delax, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flangst/pseuds/Flangst
Summary: Roadtrip!AUGai makes a bet with Kakashi to ExperienceThe Great American Roadtrip, sadly Tsunade hears and says "Everyone is doing This now."(America as in This is North America but split into Shinobi Nations instead.)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. The Begins

“What, Kakashi, you scared you won’t be able to give your kids the Great American Roadtrip that every child should experience at least once in their lives? Say, do you even have a car?” 

Kakashi sighed and snagged another piece of sushi from the plate they were sharing. “Of course I have a car… I just need to pick it up.”

Gai smirked. “Sure you do. I’m telling you, Kakashi, a few months on the road is just what your kids need. I’ve already got a trip in the works with my own kids! Three months on the open road! We’ll hit every major wonder of America along the way! It’ll be great for building character.” 

Kakashi scowled. He knew where this was going. The kids were… well, he was fond of them but the idea of being trapped in whatever rattletrap car he could afford with them for the next three months sounded like the torture of the damned. He also knew that if he backed out, Gai would never, ever let him hear the end of it.

Gai continued, seemingly figuring out he’d won, went in for the kill. “Whaddaya say, Kakashi?” He stuck out his hand. “How about a wager?”

“Alright, fine…. First to Miami pays for the other team’s stay,” countered Kakashi, gripping his rival’s palm. 

Gai grinned, light glinting off his teeth. “Deal.”

Headmistress Tsunade had just gone into the staff lounge for a cup of… er… coffee, when she overhead the end of their bet. Three months of the staff on the road with their kids? Peace and quiet at Konoha Boarding Academy for three months? She could hear the quiet already.

“Well I think that’s an excellent idea, Professor Might. A Field Trip across the Nations? These kids need to expand their horizons and see the world, so why stop at just your classes?” Unlocking a cabinet over the staff fridge, she continued, “I’ll make the announcement tomorrow, be ready~.” With those words, and an espresso flavored Absolut in hand, she swanned back to her office to write up the plans. Blessed silence for weeks!

Kakashi was frozen in his seat. Asuma was _not_ going to like this. Kurenai was going to _kill_ him with her _eyes_. And _Anko_ — he reconsidered. Anko doesn’t have an official group of students, so this is just a free trip to Miami for her. She’d probably thank him.

“Well, it looks like our bet— “, he turned back to his co-conspirator, trailing off as he saw the look in Gai’s face.

Tears ran down as he saluted the door where the headmistress had left, “The flower of youth! Our magnificent leader believes in it too! The whole school bonding over the entirety of travel, what can be more youthful than a Summertime Roadtrip!”

Kakashi sunk his head down to plant on the table.

_Two days later…_

“But Kakashi, I was supposed to spend all summer building my character for Warframe! How am I s’posed to do that if I’m stuck in a car with you and dumb old Sasuke?” Naruto’s voice had reached new, magical heights of whining since the announcement had been made and he’d had to pack up several weeks’ clothes in his dad’s old duffle bag.

The thought of abandoning the little brat to die on the side of the road briefly flashed through Kakashi’s mind, and they weren’t even on the road yet. “Well, Sakura will be here too.”

Naruto perked up a little. “Oh, I guess that’s not so bad.” Then he caught sight of Sasuke, who was looking equally thrilled at the prospect of weeks in a hot car with Naruto. He was dragging a set of matched luggage towards the car trunk. Kakashi noticed each piece was emblazoned with _I. Uchiha_. Huh. Hand-me downs. Sasuke looked a little too eager to drag them into the gravel driveway.

“Nice luggage, Sasuke,” chirped Sakura, the only person who seemed to be looking forward to this, as she tossed her pink backpack into the trunk as well. Sasuke flinched and mumbled something like “my backpack ripped” before chucking his brother’s ex-luggage into the trunk with as much force as possible.

Naruto dropped his banged-up duffle bag in alongside, though he kept his miniature backpack with him. Sakura had her purse (Kakashi rolled his eyes. Twelve year olds didn’t need purses) and Sasuke, predictably, just had his phone. Kakashi would bet good money that he’d bitch and moan that he’d left his charger behind before they got on the main road. Maybe he’d drop Sasuke off somewhere on the side of the road too.

“Ok, gang. Checklist. Luggage? Check. First aid kit?”

“Check!” piped up Sakura, proudly holding it out. She was his favorite child.

“Phones and chargers?”

“Oh shit, I left mine in my dorm. Hold on.” Off went Sasuke.

“Languaaaaage!” called Kakashi in a sing-song voice. “Novels, coloring books, and whatever other stuff you kids need to keep yourselves out of my hair?”

“Check!” said Naruto, brandishing a backpack that Kakashi could now see was stuffed to the brim with roadtrip games. Sakura had probably helped him pack it.

“Maps!” 

“Check!” Sakura had them organized in her purse.

“Wallets! Check,” said Kakashi, patting his pocket. Just because the kids technically had money didn’t mean he could rely on them to pay for anything.

“Ohhhkay. Once Sasuke gets back, we’ll be ready to roll. Everyone better pee now, because we won’t be stopping for a while.”

“Can we pull over and pee in the bushes?”

Kakashi was a little disturbed. “Yes, Naruto, if it’s an emergency?”

Naruto fist-pumped and went “yessss” under his breath. Weird fuckin’ kid. His parents were such nice people too. 

Finally Sasuke came slouching out of the building, staring at his phone still. Better late than never. Probably looking at his ChikChak or TikTak app or whatever it was called. Apparently he did a lot of “lipsynching” on there, according to a gleeful Naruto who had run to inform the entire school when he’d found out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and co. stop at a restaurant on the first leg of their roadtrip. What a coincidence, Team Gai is there too!

Naruto had finally begged for a stop for, quote, “Real Food” and the first place resembling that demand was “Big Earl’s Historic Desert Diner and Giftshoppe”. Out of the city, there was so much dry land, this might be the last stop for hours.

Brats in tow, Kakashi pushed through the novelty swing doors into the restaurant’s main eatery, taking it in at a glance. _Jukebox, hick, hick, Gai, tortoiseshell, restroom, Ooo book section! Wait back that thought up,_ his eyes snapped back from the cover of “A Highlander’s Tumultuous Temptations” to see Gai’s group already seated. Well, technically the two in jumpsuits were doing squats without a chair.

“You know, kids, I think I saw a convenience store a few miles back. Maybe we can just go and grab some snacks from there,” he suggested, already heading back towards the doors, ignoring Sasuke’s groan of annoyance and Naruto’s loud protests. “KAKASHI! THERE YOU ARE!”

 _Fuck._ “Hey Gai! Fancy, uh… meeting you here.”

The spandexed man leapt to his feet, nearly upsetting a waiter holding a tray of glasses, and bounded over to Kakashi, clapping him hard enough on the back to make him double over. “So you made it after all!” he continued in his not-indoor voice, with a jovial laugh. “I was beginning to think you’d try to weasel your way out of this one!”

 _I would have if Tsunade hadn’t locked me out of my office and had the locks changed,_ thought Kakashi. “Yeah, heh… off to a bit of a slow start, I guess!”

“Hi, Gai sensei,” greeted Sakura politely, while Sasuke stared off into the distance and Naruto bounced around in place impatiently. Gai smiled down at the three kids.

“Good to see you! I hope you haven’t been giving old Kakshi too much trouble!” He favored them with a wink and turned back to the silver-haired man, who was looking around to find a server. “You should sit with us! Nothing like some youthful bonding along the road of life! And what place could be more suited to bonding than a classic American diner?”

“This place smells like burnt cheese,” announced Sasuke sullenly.

Before Kakashi could make up an excuse, Gai had swept the four of them along to the table his team was already seated at and flagged down a server for extra menus and silverware.

Naruto quickly sat down and was eagerly oo-ing and ahh-ing over all the different hamburgers (2: cheese or no cheese) and the condiments (mayo or ketchup). Sakura gave her menu a quick hand wipe before using and Sauske was on his phone. Kakashi sighed again as he started picking out what looked the least greasy from the menu. Nah screw it, endless fries are cheap. Probably go with that. Waitress is coming over anyway.

“My Rival! Ah I see you too are lured into the Legend of the Endless Fries! Shall our youthful energy prevail against this _truly bottomless_ feast?” An idea occurs to Gai. You can always tell by how his eyebrows quiver into high gear. “Wait! A _challenge_ Kakashi, who can _topple_ this mountain, _climb_ this fantastic Everest of Food? _Are you prepared,_ my Eternal Rival?!”

Lee was moved to tears at seeing a Rival challenge from so up close; while Tenten and uh ( _the Hyuga...Hinata? Whatever_ ) were less excited, they did seem to look at him expectantly. But, it was his own kids looking at him that got him. Sasuke perked up at the idea of seeing a competition. Maybe someone would die. Naruto was about to declare he could eat out anyone, before Sakura shushed him and turned to Kakashi to tell him very seriously that "with so many calories, he might explode!"

These children are idiots.

“You’re on Gai”

_…. One day later…._

They were never allowed in Eureka County again.

**Author's Note:**

> Delax:  
> So, we'll talk about these AU Shinobi Lands as they go through them. The two mentioned here are the Land of Fire on the West/Northwest Coast, known for it's enormous Trees. And Then the Land of Water is the end goal to the Southeast, with the Gulf coast and the Islands.
> 
> Also Miami exists. So I guess real cities exist, but not countries/states? yep


End file.
